Comic 22 - Petty Beach, Page 11

Posted on 8th Sep 2013, 11:51 AM in Petty Beach
Petty Beach, Page 11
<<First Latest>>
Average Rating: 5 (2 votes) / Rate this comic

Author Notes:

Sajan Rai 8th Sep 2013, 11:51 AM edit delete
Sajan Rai
Spent way too long on this one again, mostly on placing the text, which I think is one of the weak points of this page. I've gotta make more monies, so juggling some commission work too. I went a bit gesamtkunstwerk on the bits of writing, ended up writing two sonnets, handwriting them, scanning, then making them pretty illegible. As usual, critique is welcome.

Comments:

danielthecreator 8th Sep 2013, 12:01 PM edit delete reply
danielthecreator
Ser Davos and Tim are buddies? COOOL
gary cramer 9th Sep 2013, 5:25 AM edit delete reply
gary cramer
Alright I'll critique a couple things that stick out. The different colors, positioning of the word balloons are a slightly confusing. They change colors and I'm not sure why. I'd bring the two panels over to the left from the lighthouse the use the dead space in between for the captions. I think it's the arrangement of the page overall. You almost created a second lighthouse beside the other one, hence not alluding to the fact that they're inside of the one you drew. It's a great concept, just kind of scrambled about.
Guest 9th Sep 2013, 1:52 PM edit delete reply
Ooh cheers GC. I think I did go a bit overboard with colouring the word balloons on this one. The panels to the left, which way would you suggest i move them? Leftways? Or maybe tucked just behind ? I do see what you mean about the whole second light house thing.
And thanks a muchos for the wise words :D
gary cramer 9th Sep 2013, 5:06 PM edit delete reply
gary cramer
Away from the lighthouse. I would use the same color and font for each of your characters speaking, There's comments from the boy and girl that change colors and that to me, means someone else is speaking those captions, make sense? It's subliminal. The arrows going across your gorgeous lighthouse sort of demeans it's presence and becomes kind of instructional. Arrows on pages never worked for me, it should be clear what's going on and where the reader's eyes should be lead. Again this is all an arrangement thing. On a very bright note, everything up to this point has made me jealous of your comic!!!